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Uncertain power

November 20, 2013

Once, I recognized my body. I knew its limits and its power, its strength and weakness, and it was a familiar friend. Now, it’s like a house with uncertain power supplies. I move through hallways blindly on days in darkness, sensing patterns with my fingers. The path has changed now, strange obstacles appearing where I least expect them.

It’s beautiful, here in the dark, but strange. Some days, I bite at myself like a wild dog. Some days, I am, myself, strong current. But the tunnel has no end-light. The map to resolution is nowhere to be found.

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When the wind ran circles

November 18, 2013

It wasn’t tornado season, but the wind ran circles around the house. The dogs whined with every creak of the eaves, and the children complained of waking nightmares.

I’ve had enough, the mother said, and she poured herself a third glass of wine. There was no reason to save the good bottle if the world was coming to an end.

There’s nowhere to go, said the father. He had gone down to the basement, allegedly to check the furnace and the water heater. No one knew he didn’t actually know how they worked. He liked his secrets kept.

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Ladybug season

November 16, 2013

In this season, ladybugs rush in my sun-warmed, open window.

They’re just beetles, someone once said to me. What’s the big deal?

They’re lucky, I replied, thinking of the brush of their small feet against my hand, the mechanical clatter of their elytra against the air. They land and take off again as quickly as a surprise, as unexpectedly as a wish-come-true.

I let them in, let them wander walls and ceilings, let them alight on my computer screen. The season will change, and they’ll disappear, but for now, they are my welcome guests.

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The Official Arbiter of Tall Buildings Falls In Love

November 14, 2013

When she asked him what he did for a living, he told the truth. I’m the Official Arbiter of Tall Buildings. Often, in these conversations, he just called himself an architect, but he felt encouraged by the number of times she had touched his arm in a short span.

That’s fascinating, she replied, and he saw her eyes widen a bit as if she really meant it.

He took a breath, then. He wanted to tell her all about judging small measurements, the understanding of materials, the heart-pounding view from so far above the world.

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Pronunciation lesson

November 12, 2013

“I also bought some KEEN-wah,” said the elderly lady on the bus to her friend. “I like that stuff.”

“You mean kin-NOH-ah?” said her friend.

“Is that how you say it?”

“Yes.”

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Be clear

October 22, 2013

Just then, a woman in a red velvet dress set down breath mints on the table and left everyone to their own devices.

I’m not sure this was the party I expected to attend, she said. I haven’t been to anything like this in years, and it’s a little confusing to figure out what to do first.

It’s just networking, he said. Say hello, offer a mint, and be clear about what you’re trying to accomplish. That’s all any of us can do.

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Party living endurance

October 20, 2013

Late that night, they turned on the blues. The good Scotch came out, the better red wine. It made no sense—everyone had had too much to drink before anyone got to that point—but they did it anyway, because they had all sipped from the fountain of life, and they were satisfied.

There’s healthy living endurance, and there’s party living endurance, the oldest one said. The question is which you’re going to choose.