I have washed my hands every hour that I have been awake since getting off that plane. I use many different kinds of soap: Dial, Ivory, Basis, some flower-smelling stuff my wife picked up at Costco, laundry detergent if there’s nothing around.
Sometimes my knuckles crack and bleed, and the splits between my fingers hurt more every day. But I still can’t get them clean. I still feel the sand under my nails. I still feel the warm slick of my friend’s blood when I press my hands together to pray.
She felt thorough this time, with her to do list and her notes. Organized. Powerful in knowledge.
She had left some things off that list, and that contributed to her evenness. This steadied her hand, her breath, her heart as she flipped the switch.
Never mind the wife, the kids, the dog. After she first saw him, it seemed like she had been put in his way for a good reason.
He didn’t ask for much the nights they were together, but didn’t offer much, either. At the time, it seemed enough. She ate underneath his table, hiding from the light like a fox. At night, she crept out, curled around him as she could, then retreated again to where he could no longer find her.
Ahead on the road, a puff of exhaust took on the shape of a white cat walking the double yellow line. It disappeared as quick as a hiss.
On the seat next to her, her cellphone vibrated, bringing the incoming call about her sister.
All I knew was a flight number and a time of arrival. In the airport, I bought a magazine and settled into a chair near the exit of the security zone. I had no idea who I was looking for, but I knew him the instant I saw him.
He left his cellphone on her nightstand, which both tempted and infuriated her. When he went to the bathroom, she scrolled through his sent text messages, searching for one that made it sound like he thought last night was worthy, that he would be back for more.
“I put a penny in my shredder and now my underwear hurts.” The teenager shook her head, her mouth a sunset at the horizon of her chin.
Her father, who had been thinking about baseball, decided not to ask her to repeat herself.
100 Proof 