January 10, 2011
We killed the doves first. Elmer made sure we all had ear protection, then fired the sonic cannon he built in his garage. Feathered bodies rained down. It works! It works! we crowed, though we could only see each other’s lips move. 

Next, we tried fish. What else were we going to do with that truckload of pesticide? Besides, the surface of the creek was so pretty once the minnows floated up, undulating silverlike in the current.

The end of the world? the anchor asked.

Elmer chuckled. See? he said. I told you they’d jump to conclusions.

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